Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
