You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
