How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
