Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
