I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
