I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
