508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
