I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
