WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
