i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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