Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
