i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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