That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
where am i from again
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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