WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
