How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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