I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
