no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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