dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize