how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
