I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
