What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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