I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
