I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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