walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
