how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
