So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
