Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
