Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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