i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
