Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
