Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
