is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
