I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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