Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you had me at cake vodka
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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