I faked an abortion last night.
she looked like the before picture.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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