Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
