In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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