she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
