Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
