you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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