you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
