Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
