S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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