Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
