I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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