They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
