If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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