I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
