We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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