PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's Friday. Sex?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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